In November of last year, I purchased a bodysuit from Forever 21 before their Canadian closure. I remember putting it on for the first time, not expecting anything and of course, my opinion of myself changed. Bodysuits have become a popular going out outfit for a few years now, and the only people I ever see wear them are small and skinny. I find it hard to place myself sometimes in a world of skinny people. I’m 6’2 and I am considered plus size due to my thighs, my waist and the fact that the majority of pants aren’t made for tall women. It’s always interesting to go shopping and find clothes that fit, and don’t have to be special ordered. Over the last few years, I’ve started finding clothes that feel good and fit me right in my local mall stores. Brands like American Eagle are slowly making strides to be more inclusive.
Forever 21 missed the mark on most of their plus sized clothing, but I don’t blame them. I’m plus-sized and also tall, I don’t fit the length on most of the shorter plus sized dresses or the plus-sized jackets that fall too short on the arms. I’m still finding certain brands are missing the mark on plus-sized clothing, but I do applaud the companies making strides.
On Saturday, I went to my first concert of the year and if anyone knows me well, they will know that live music events bring out the absolute best in me. I love to wear fun outfits that bring out my personality or daring outfits that let me showcase myself. Saturday was the first time I’d felt confident enough to finally wear the bodysuit I’d purchased. It’d been hanging at the back of my closet for months.
The only thing different about my usual concert attire was the fact that I was supporting my air cast walking boot. I broke my toe at the end of December in the stupidest way and I’ve been forced to wear the boot to support the healing. It put a damper on my concert dance moves and even my outfit. This is the second time in my life that I’ve had to wear this boot and it is very restrictive and bulky. I find myself feeling very slow and unconfident because of it.
I decided to wear the bodysuit despite my low confidence and I absolutely loved it. I put it on and remember myself going ‘wow I feel powerful, I am a woman’ It validated me and my body and made me feel so good. In the words of Lizzo, I felt ‘Good as Hell’. I took some pictures and then ended up posting a photo of me wearing the top on my Instagram.
I’ve been annoyed by the lack of activity on my page since posting some product photos and this photo of me brought back my Instagram and made it alive again.
If you’ve read my blog before or seen any of my posts, I’ve been known to speak out on social media and be real about my feelings, last night I posted a mini-rant on my Instagram story and received some amazing responses. I’ll insert the photo below as well as the caption.
“I’m gonna be real for a sec. I bought this top back in November and I was terrified to wear it because I didn’t think I was skinny enough. But omg I put it on last night and felt so beautiful and powerful. I’m so happy I was finally confident enough to wear it because I LOOKED SO PRETTY. So here’s your reminder to wear things that scare you because it might end up working out and you might look GOOD AS HELL.”
I posted this last night before I went to bed and woke up to 30+ messages, and this isn’t me gloating but I’m honestly so happy that this resonated with so many people. I had so many friends be like ‘me too’ and ‘thank you for this’, which really made me happy. It makes my feelings validated while also helping them. Thank you to everyone who also called me a QUEEN, that was much appreciated. It’s always easy to get down on yourself, but the one thing I’ve learned is that self-validation is extremely important.
I also tweeted the picture I posted on Instagram and said ‘Last night I wore this bodysuit that I’ve had in my closet since November. I’ve been so scared to wear it due to the fact that I’m sometimes insecure. Last night I wore it and I FELT SO PRETTY AND POWERFUL. So here’s your daily reminder to do things that scare you! #bodypositive”
The response from that post has also been extremely positive and has also been one of the most engaging posts on my Twitter this year. (at the time of posting this it has over 3.4k impressions and 750+ engagements)
I think sharing opinions about yourself on a bigger scale can be partially terrifying but also therapeutic. I’m happy that I can find the confidence to share my insecurities and be welcomed openly by my peers and followers. I find that I’m always overwhelmed at the positivity I experience whenever I post something that makes me feel vulnerable.
I’m also happy to share that 2020 is a year of self-discovery and in the words of Kylie Jenner, a year of ‘realizing stuff’, I really want to devote this year to building my brand and growing into the person I’ve always wanted to be.
I promise I will try not to leave you hanging for another 365 days, and I promise I will devote more time to writing and sharing my thoughts. I find that blogging is a medium that I can always turn to whenever I want to share my words. In 2019, I let my own self-doubt be the reason that my blog was inactive. I have so many words written in half word documents or sitting in my google drive, I was unable to throw something together that I truly believed in and it is hard for me to admit that. I was able to produce some articles for school projects that I believed in and was thankful to receive praise for my words.
I decided to write about Instagram for one of my final assignments in school, I wrote a piece about how to have a better experience using the platform, as a young marketing professional, I can’t necessarily ditch the platform completely, so I decided to challenge myself in 2019 to have a better relationship with the app. I was open, honest and raw in my words and actions and I’m truly happy with how the article came out. I received praise from peers and friends and I gained an important portfolio piece.
Check out the article here: https://medium.com/@supmallory/how-to-have-a-better-experience-on-instagram-4a30fd85a65d
If you’re interested in reading any of my other work, check out the brand new tab on my blog called ‘other work’ where I will be sharing links to my published work!
I’m done ranting for the time being but expect more from me this year. I’m holding myself accountable and I will let this blog hold me accountable. If you enjoyed any of my words today, I’d love to hear. Tweet me @suppmallory, Instagram me @mvllory or comment below. I always appreciate any feedback.
And as always, my current favourite songs are below, as well as a link to my jan 2020 playlist.
My current favourite songs
- Chicken – Your Neighbors
- Sweatshirt – X Lovers
- Kids Are Alright – Tate McRae
- time of our lives – Christian French
- What A Man Gotta Do – Jonas Brothers
- See You Again (featuring Kali Uchis) – Tyler the Creator
- everything I wanted – Billie Eilish
- Good News – Mac Miller
- Elenore – The Turtles
- Some Kind of Disaster – All Time Low
- All I Want – Olivia Rodrigo
- Wondering – Olivia Rodrigo, Joshua Bassett
- Sometimes – H.E.R
- Cut My Lip – X Lovers
- Sad Songs in the Summer – Olivia O’Brien
xoxo
Your Social Media Queen,
Mallory T
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